Mothers of the Believers

Assalaamu Aleikum,

Today being mother’s day got me thinking about the Mothers of the Believers (Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) wives).

I realized that most of the information we come across is mainly about Khadija (his first wife), and Aisha (may Allah be pleased with them). So I decided that I will gather up information on all of the Prophet’s wives and compile it into short overviews, and make separate posts for each wife.

I feel this is important as they were the Prophet’s family, and are meant to be examples to all Muslim women that come after them. They have gained the love and respect not only of those who knew them, but also of those who came to hear about them long after they have died. Among the best of women were the wives of the Prophet Muhammad, (pbuh) for he was the best of creation, the one who has all good virtues and characteristics gathered together in him, and accordingly Allah granted him the best of women in marriage. We should try to follow their example, seeking Allah’s pleasure.

“Anas related that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, "Love Allah for the gifts that He gives you; love me for the sake of Allah; and love the People of my House for I love them."

Today the media and un- Islamic cultures, brainwash people’s as to what a woman is and should be. How a woman should act and dress, what she should look like, and what woman is desirable for marriage. But the truth is that a lot of what is viewed as desirable today is un-Islamic, and takes us far away from the Islamic ideal of a woman, and of a society. Many men have started marrying women solely based on their looks or money. Many have decided that only a young, unmarried before virgin, with no children and with perfect looks is for marrying, or that only a woman, of the same nationality or tribe is worthy of marriage. Worse yet, many Muslim brothers don’t consider a good Islamic character, and hijab as virtues for their future wives, they would rather have a “Modern” woman, who does not cover, isn’t “too” religious, and knows how to have fun. Our Muslim brothers are losing site of what kind of woman they should be respecting and desiring as a wife. That is why I think It is also important for our brothers in Islam to know more about the wives our beloved Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) chose to marry, so that they have a clearer view of how a good Muslim woman should conduct herself, and what they should look for in a wife.
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:

“A woman may be married for four reasons: for her property, her status, her beauty, and her religion, so marry the one who is religious, may your hand be besmeared with dust.”

So the first wife I will write about is:

Khadijah bint Khuwaylid

Khadijah ( may Allah be pleased with her), came from a noble family. Her father Khuwaylid had been one of the most honored leaders of their tribe until he was killed in battle. Her husband had also died, leaving her a very wealthy woman. When Muhammad (PBUH) was still a young man, she entrusted him with some of her wealth, asking him to trade with it in Syria on her behalf. He was already well known for his honesty, truthfulness and trustworthiness. He returned from Syria after having made a large profit for Khadijah.

After hearing his account of the journey, she decided that he would make the best of the husbands, even though many of the most important nobles of the Quraish had already proposed to her and had been refused, and in due course she proposed to him. After the Prophet's uncle, Abu Talib, had given the proposed marriage his blessing, Muhammad and Khadijah were married. At the time of the marriage, the Prophet was twenty-five years old, while Khadijah was forty years old.

For the next fifteen years they lived happily together, and Khadijah bore several children. Their first child, a son whom they named Qasim, died when he was only two years old. Two more sons, called Tayyib and Tahir, were also born, but they too died in their infancy. However, Muhammad and Khadijah also had four daughters who survived: Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum and Fatima.

No one except Allah of course, knows more about a man than his wife, both his good and his bad qualities, his strengths and his weaknesses. The more Khadijah came to know about her husband, the more she loved and respected him. Everyone in Makka called him 'al-Amin', which means 'the trustworthy one', and she, more than anyone else, knew how fitting this name was.

It became Muhammad's custom each year to spend the month of Ramadan in seclusion and reflection in a cave on the mountain of Hira, which is on the outskirts of Makka. Khadijah would always make sure that he was provided with food and drink during his retreat. Towards the end of one Ramadan, when he was forty and Khadijah fifty-five, Muhammad suddenly appeared at their house in the middle of the night, trembling with fear and saying, "Cover me up, cover me up!"

Khadijah was very alarmed to see him in such a state. Quickly she wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and, when he had calmed down, she asked him to describe exactly what had happened. He told her how a being whom he had never seen before - angel Jibril - had suddenly appeared to him while he was asleep and had said, "Read!"
"But I cannot read," he had replied, for he was unlettered and could neither read nor write. "Read!" the angel had repeated, clasping Muhammad close to his chest. "I cannot read," he had repeated. "Read!" the angel had repeated, firmly embracing him yet again. "What shall I read?" he had asked in desperation, and the angel had replied:

"Read, in the Name of your Lord who created, created man from a clot, Read, and your Lord is the Most Gracious, Who taught with the pen, taught man what he did not know. (Quran 96:15)

Although Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) did not fully realize it at the time, this was the beginning of the revelation of the Qur'an; but in that first encounter with the angel Jibril, Muhammad was very frightened, for he did not know who the angel Jibril was or what was happening. He woke up and ran out of the cave only to find Jibril still in front of him, and whenever he turned away from him, there Jibril was in front of him. "Oh Muhammad," said Jibril eventually, "you are the Messenger of Allah and I am Jibril," and with these words he disappeared from Muhammad's sight.

After the angel had disappeared Muhammad (PBUH) had clambered down the mountain as fast as he could run, not knowing if he was going mad and imagining things.
As she listened to Muhammad's words, Khadijah did not share any of these fears. She realized that something tremendous and awe-inspiring had happened to her husband, and she was certain, knowing him as she did, that he was neither mad nor possessed. When Muhammad (PBUH) was a little more relaxed, Khadijah took him to see her cousin, Waraqa ibn Nawfal, for he was a man of knowledge, and she was sure that he would be able to explain the meaning of what had just happened to her beloved husband. Waraqa had studied the books of both the Jews and the Christians very closely and he had learned a great deal from many of their wisest people. He knew that the coming of another Prophet had been foretold by both Moses and Jesus, peace be on them, and he knew many of the signs that would confirm the identity of this Prophet when he appeared.
After listening closely to his story, Waraqa, who was both old and blind, exclaimed, "This is the same being who brought the revelations of Allah to Moses. I wish I was young and could be alive when your people will drive you out."
"Will they drive me out?" asked Muhammad.
"Yes," replied Waraqa. "No one has come with what you have been given without being treated with enmity; and if I were to live until the day when you are turned out, then I would support you with all my might. Let me just feel your back." So, saying, Waraqa felt between the Prophet's shoulder-blades and found what he was feeling for: a small round, slightly raised irregularity in the skin, about the size of a pigeon's egg. This was yet another of the many signs that Waraqa already knew would indicate the identity of the next Prophet after Jesus, (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him).
"This is the Seal of the Prophethood!" he exclaimed. "Now I am certain that you are indeed the Prophet whose coming was foretold in the Torah that was revealed to Moses and in the Injil that was revealed to Jesus, (pbuh). You are indeed the Messenger of Allah, and the being who appeared to you on the mountain was indeed the angel Jibril!"

Khadijah as both overjoyed and awed to find that her understanding of what had happened on the mountain had been confirmed. Not long after this incident, Muhammad was commanded in a subsequent revelation from Allah, through the angel Jibril, to call people to worship Allah only, and it was at this point that Khadijah did not hesitate in expressing in public what she had now known for certain in secret for some time: " I bear witness that there is no god except Allah," she said, "and I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."
In the years that followed, difficult years in which the leaders of the Quraish did everything in their power to stop the Prophet spreading his message, Khadijah (may Allah be pleased with her) was a constant source of help and comfort to Muhammad (peace be upon him) in the difficulties which he had to face. All her wealth was spent in the way of Allah, helping to spread the message of her husband, helping to free slaves who had embraced Islam, and helping to feed and shelter the community of Muslims that slowly but surely began to grow in numbers and strength. Many hard times followed, but she always stood by her husband.
Khadijah had been the first to publicly accept Muhammad (pbuh) as the Messenger of Allah, and she had never stopped doing all she could to help him. Love and mercy had grown between them, increasing in quality and depth as the years passed by, and not even death could take this love away.
Khadijah died, at the age of sixty-five, may Allah be pleased with her. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) mourned her deeply. They had shared twenty-five years of marriage together and she had given birth to five of his children. (Only one of the Prophet's future wives, Maria the Copt, would give him another child, Ibrahim, and he, like Qasim, was destined to die when he was still very young, at the age of eighteen months.)

Once Aisha asked him if Khadijah had been the only woman worthy of his love. The Prophet (pbuh) replied:

"She believed in me when no one else did; she accepted Islam when people rejected me; and she helped and comforted me when there was no one else to lend me a helping hand."

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) never stopped loving Khadijah, and although he married several more wives in later years and loved them all, it is clear that Khadijah always had a special place in his heart.